How to dress and look like an American college kid

What follows, is a slightly provocative, sometimes maybe exaggerated, but still not less true description of the typical American male college student that I have encountered over the last four semesters at my university, UMBC.

Shoes: You need boat shoes (AKA sperry shoes). If you are from Europe, like me, you will probably ask what these shoes are and why you need them. Well, the picture below answers the first question and the second question is like the search for the meaning of life; everybody wants to know, but nobody has the answer. But seriously, whether girl or guy, everybody seems to have at least one pair of these shoes, and I have no clue why. They probably are very comfortable, because, gotta be honest, folks, it can't be the incredible style. Alternatively, you can wear any type of sneakers, basketball shoes, whatever you have. If you believe that sport shoes are only worn when doing sports, you may want to change that belief.

                             The famous sperry shoes

Socks: If you are a guy, and you are wearing shorts, always pull up the socks as high as you can. Even if they almost reach up to your knees, this is the way to go. Again, don't ask me why; I would guess it keeps the legs warm.

Pants: Feel free to wear sweatpants or sport shorts most of the time. If you wear jeans or pants, make sure they are not in any way fashionable. No slim pants, no jeans with holes or marks. Occasionally, you can also wear your pyjama pants if you are too lazy to change.

Shirts: Either wear a plain shirt, a shirt with a popular brand (see below), a shirt you got for free somewhere or any other shirt with the name of your university written on it (or actually, any random university name on it). Oh, you can also wear jerseys of your favorite football or baseball team if they are having a game that day. Don't wear v-neck shirts or any other shirts with too much cleavage. Button-down shirts only for special occasions (like commencement address or something like that).

A guy with a coke shirt

Jackets: When it's cold outside, definitely get a North Face jacket. They are super warm and comfortable and you will have plenty sisters and brothers with the same jacket in all different colors. Don't wear leather jackets - you won't have any brothers and sisters. A hoody is of course fine at all times.

                           Look how happy this guy is wearing a North Face jacket!

Beard: That's up to you. You may want to shave from time to time, so it doesn't get out of control. However, during no-shave November you better let your beard grow the whole month if you aspire to be a true American college kid.

Hair: Your hair is perfect as it is. Don't put any wax or gel in it, just go with it as you get out of the shower (if you take a shower). And don't come up with the idea to get a fancy hair cut.

Cap: If you want to look cool, just put a cap on your head. But don't dare to wear it with the bill cap forward; it definitely has to be pointing to the side or to your back.

Here is my ambitious, but ridiculous attempt to fulfill as many of these criteria as possible to truly look like an American college student:

Probably it was a wise decision to write this post in Hamburg at the beginning of the summer vacations. That way, when I'll return in three months to the U.S., my college friends are hopefully not gonna be angry at me anymore ;)